I got my hardneck garlic bulbs and I can’t wait to plant them all this weekend! I really hope that we have good luck with it; I’ve never had luck with growing my own garlic but I also used to assume I was magic and could throw whatever seeds in the ground at any time and then walk away.

This weekend I turn 36. I think it’s the first year in a while I legit don’t care much about my birthday. I’m more excited for planting the garlic, hanging out with my wife, and participating in the Niskayuna craft show at the high school.

36 just feels “meh”. This year I’ve realized, I suppose, how much of an adult I am, age-wise. Yet, I don’t feel it usually. I sometimes feel bogged down by responsibility, schedules, expectations…but what does a 36 year old woman really feel like? How am I supposed to feel?

I know when I wake up, my first few steps feel achy in my feet and legs. I know if I sit too long at my desk my back tightens right up. I know I feel my best wearing comfortable, loose-fitting clothing and cozy scarfs…as evidenced a bit in the above picture. I know I value my free time more than whatever someone’s perception of me is having or not having a booming social life. I get hung up on unproductive thoughts that I would’ve thought I should’ve outgrown by now…and I know now that most adults do. We are still the same people – hopefully wizened by experiences – but still the same kid in grown-up shoes.

A bit frayed, broken, and repaired. All pretending we have our shit neatly wrapped up in a pretty box.

It’s not that I don’t care about my birthday because of any sort of dread or depression; I guess it’s more feeling that time marches on and I’m a bit more interested in what I’m doing in it rather than celebrating it. I do really want to get together with my family though, if possible, on Sunday. It’s been since the end of September since I’ve seen everyone due to all the things scheduled in October. Sunday is a maybe because it depends on how my mom is feeling from her chemotherapy on Thursday.

I don’t think it’s often you get happy talks about garlic and birthdays all in one post. You are welcome!