I’ve had a hell of a week.
A week ago today was my wife’s grandmother’s funeral. Clementina DiCocco was 98 years old and was largely independent up until the turn of the year. Her passing was as peaceful as it could be and it was surrounded by her loved ones. We should all be so lucky to reach her age and live the way she did – on her own and on her own terms. I grieve for those she left behind because even though she lived a very long life, her family is now entering into chapters of their lives that do not include her.
Monday and Tuesday my sister and I went to Manhattan to visit my parents and to attend some doctor’s appointments for my mother’s upcoming new treatments (a different chemotherapy and the beginning of her immunotherapy). The doctors seemed very optimistic and matter-of-fact about the procedure and it’s side effects; I can’t help but feel very positive about everything. It’s a relief; part of the appointments were to scan and evaluate her cancer to see if anything had changed. Even though we didn’t really discuss it, likely I wasn’t the only one wondering if things had gotten worse – too worse for the immunotherapy. Luckily, that wasn’t the case. I swear, even though cancer’s a shit stick no matter what, I can’t help but feel like my mother has been blessed in all of the ways she could be despite having it.
Upon returning to the area, my scratchy throat had gotten worse and it became more evident that it wasn’t just an allergy (as Sunday I had swept the basement and stirred up quite a bit of dust), but something more. I worked about 4 hours on Wednesday before a fever came on that Tylenol didn’t touch brought me home and right to bed. Since then, life’s been a bit of a feverish blur. Yay for the flu and no; I didn’t have a flu shot. I’ve actually never have had one but I think I will do it next cold season.
I’m worried that I exposed my mom to it; had I have known it was something more than an allergy I would have postponed my trip. I’m glad though that she wasn’t at her most vulnerable state. I can’t tell my dad how sick I was because I worry that next time I want to visit, he will question what type of germs I may bring down with me when I am normally a very healthy person. I get one good knock-down, drag-out sickness a year and apparently this is it.
I’m also worried about the mounting workload at the office because I was out for 3 days and then an unexpected 2 and a half days more. I’ll be going back in to some irritated clients; confused as to why I haven’t gotten back to them when I am normally very prompt. I am trying to shake the fucks off about this but it’s hard – I care about people and I care about what I do.
Today I feel well enough to be in my craft room using my desktop, soaking up the heat from the space heater and watching some Netflix. It’s a change of scenery from the couch or my bed, as that’s all I’ve really seen the past 48 hours. I don’t know if I am actually up to working on anything but just being in a different room of my house feels a bit refreshing.
I will share some of the things I have finished and posted recently though!
No matter how I am feeling tomorrow, I have to get out of the house for a bit. Even if it’s just for an hour or two. I plan on going to the Schenectady Trading Company to change out some inventory and if I can go to work for a bit to push out some work that’d be great, too.
Holy moly though, does my head ache. Moving my head, looking from side to side…my eyeballs feel like they are being pushed out of my skull. Adam’s really enjoyed having me around though. He has been my constant companion. That, and a glass of cold water.