Reap what you sow.

I’ve hit another really busy patch of life. Work is pretty busy and so is my real life. I felt super stressed on Monday, which may be why I wrote such a clipped blog post. I needed to get something out, so I did! I also went home and furiously biked for a half hour and I felt a lot better. Yup – I’m still on my Peloton kick.

I’m feeling proud of myself! We’ve had the bike since mid-October and I’ve been using it regularly since, steadily increasing the frequency of my workouts. I’ve never been able to stick with working out from home until now.

2020 is the year of reaping what I sow. Since 2017, my life has been pretty challenging, but that’s what happens when you leave a “dream” job, get a divorce, lose people you thought were friends, lose a beloved animal, fall in love with a woman, come out to your conservative parents, handle a conservative parent on the other side, adjust to having stepchildren, go back to a former job, buy another house, move, start a new job, get married, realize you aren’t as amazing or unique as you thought you were, learn some humility, almost lose your dad, mentally handle a mother’s cancer diagnosis, start a couple of small businesses, fail a lot…

[I tried to put that all in some sort of chronological order but so many things were happening at once, it’s probably not right.]

So, the past 3 years have solidly been a lot of hard work. Good things happened in there too, but it was a lot of struggling. So here I am in 2020 and I feel like despite the fact that we recently just lost someone (Theresa’s grandmother passed away on 1/25 – she was 98), things are really headed in the right direction this year.

Financial things are getting sorted; my mom starts immunotherapy next month. I’m learning new art techniques and am having a lot of fun with that.

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I’m fully embracing my entrance into my late thirties.

I just finished the above candle and am really proud of it and excited about finally learning how to cut bottles after years of wanting to.

This candle is made from a wine bottle that I cut, sanded, then painted. The lightbulb was made from a worn out pair of jeans and a piece of a faux leather skirt. It’s surrounded in teal twine because I’m kind of obsessed with that twine right now. So, not only am I working on my glass cutting skills, I am also simultanously learning how to make candles and dye the wax whatever colors I need. I chose a light blue for this candle and kept it unscented because I’m a bit intimidated by choosing fragrances. My focus is more on the outside of the candle – the actual decoration of it. I’d hate to put so much work into it and have someone love it, but ultimately pass it up because it’s a scent they either dislike or are allergic to. It just feels safer to keep them unscented.

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A plant hanger I made for a friend’s daughter recently.

I also recently learned that the “dream” job I left in 2017 so I could focus on my life  which was unnecessarily dramatic and mean-spirited behind my back afterwards is apparently shutting its doors next month. I normally hate to be all petty and whatever but I am enjoying this.  It’s refreshing. That’s what you get for slinging mud – eventually it gets on you.

Maybe that’s why I had such a troubling 2017 ~  I was owed for past behaviors and actions. I can tell you I’ve been much more careful and considerate since then. Not perfect…but more aware…and am hoping that maybe that’s why things finally feel like they’re headed in a steadily good direction. All that work and hardships of the past few years is starting to noticeably pay off.

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