In Here and Not Out There.


The truth is: I feel alone amongst a crowd and misunderstood quite often. I wonder if this is just what it’s like to be an adult in the world today ~ where we are all disconnectedly connected.

I took my Dad’s advice after a conversation we had a couple of weeks ago, wherein he said he feels that people that live in a more “city” atmosphere are less likely to take the time to notice and care about the people around them. While his opinion paints with broad strokes, he and my Mom said I should get to know my neighbors, create the type of world I want to live in every day. It’s a relatively easy concept to understand but not always the easiest to execute.

So, I left a note for my neighbor, whose husband we noticed hasn’t been home. He’s military so we assume (rightfully) that he’s been deployed. A few hours after my note, my neighbor (who now I know is Krysten) texted me – connection made. It was nice to extend a neighborly hand when it seems that just isn’t what a lot of people do anymore. My Dad thinks that people in the country – like where I grew up – are more apt to make friends with their neighbors; check in on them to make sure they’re okay. I didn’t know my neighbors when I lived in Ballston Lake. I mean, I sort of knew the guy who lived in the bus in the junkyard but living the way he did made it seem like he preferred to be left alone.

I find it harder now to put myself out there than a few years ago. There’s just so much…distraction…fluff…silly stuff out there in the world. I have felt more inward, private, keep to myself. Willing to help but less willing to share.

But I suppose this “inward” feeling has helped me create some pretty cool stuff. I just uploaded these two finished projects onto my Etsy shop page:

Which you can find in my shop HERE:

And it also lets me get into my head some and work on some weirder projects, like this wine bottle re-do I’m working on. These two bottles were a part of a set of 4 fall-themed bottles that I had for a couple of years but wasn’t able to sell. I tend to do this, rather than waste the materials – I will pull things apart and try a different route. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. I try to reinvent. Sometimes its only purpose is for me to learn new methods and occupy my mind. One learns from failure…hopefully.

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Maybe it’s just the season in my life for me to be less “out there” and more “in here”. Sometimes I think I had enough “out there” to last a lifetime; my pseudo-fame did not last and I can only now appreciate how superficial it all was. I have no desire to feel that loss of what is unreal again. I am content being a quiet wallflower.

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