Upstate NY this weekend:
Perfect time to hunker down in my house all weekend and get to decluttering my craft space, like I said I would do last weekend.
[As if I need an excuse to be home and avoid other humans on the weekend.]
I woke up without exuberance ~ maaaannnn, I was really hoping to spring up out of bed, ready to tackle the day! But I could feel despair hanging on to my back, slumping my shoulders, making me wonder why I bother with anything. I stood at my kitchen sink and told myself that the voice was a lie ~ I am not invisible. I am important. What I do, who I am, matters. I literally had this conversation out-loud with myself and I’m not sure why I’m sharing it because it is kind of embarrassing. I just hate that depression sometimes tries to determine the kind of day I am going to have. Nah, son. I’m going to determine that. Kindly fuck off in that direction over there.
Keeping busy has always been a big help for me – as in, ROUTINE. So, I wrote out all that I wanted to accomplish today and set to it. I turned my music up way loud and ended up having a rock concert all by myself as I sorted, recycled, donated, and organized my craft space.
BOOM! I mean, it’s not 100% done but it’s so much better than what it was!
I gave a box of stuff to my friend Kim for her to use because craft hoarding is a legit thing. I get a lot of items donated to me and I put most of it aside, telling myself I’ll get to it…and so I made a decision today. If I’ve had it for a year and I haven’t done anything wit it yet, it has to go. Whether it’s donated to someone who can use it or recycled – it’s gotta get out of here.
I took a break for some lunch and Kim came to get her things and then my sister showed up, unexpectedly! It was wonderful – first visiting with Kim and then with my sister. My heart feels very full today for the important people in my life.
Can I say, I feel amazing? Today is a victory. That’s how you master life – one day at a time.