For most of us, we’re back to work without a holiday in sight until at least February. After the various abbreviated work weeks since Thanksgiving, it feels like I’m staring across a desert, wishing for an oasis.
And I like my job…I just like being a hermit more.
It’s weird – sometimes I am at work, wishing I were home. Sometimes I’m home wishing I wasn’t – rather, at work, the store, the gym, whatever – because I begin feeling lonely and isolated. Loneliness is not a feeling I’ve ever really had to experience before. I like having time for myself and I am not uncomfortable with silence…but sometimes…sometimes, the loneliness feels like it’s pressing down on me. I can see how too much of it can really drive people to extreme despair.
The office I work at is one where you can be as social or as quiet as you like. No pressure to talk to anyone if you don’t want to. I find myself being more quiet than not ~ for instance, I think I’ve had maybe one conversation so far today with a co-worker and it’s going on 1 p.m.? The older I get, the more I realize how full most people’s lives are and how we all need our space in whatever form we can get it. We all have our own shit going on. I don’t like to interrupt with too many anecdotes about my life when likely they are completely meaningless to anyone else ~ to me, that’s just adding to the unnecessary “noise” that surrounds us all, distracting us from more important tasks. I guess you can say I’m minding my own damned business nowadays.
In case you were wondering what’s in the cage, here’s Chicken, who was desperately trying to get in on my selfie:
But yes! Back to the work grind today for the near future. Day by day, chipping away at my goals for the month, while trying to not let my animals be my only social interactions on the weekends. I have to admit though, this semi-hermit life I live on the weekends has allowed me to learn things about myself I never knew and has provided the time to allow me to construct some pretty nifty goals. It’s nice not to feel like everything has to be a big rush all the time.