I find myself staring into the month of February feeling a bit overloaded, stressed, but determined to be optimistic.
Even though I hadn’t talked about it publicly, I had a goal in mind to be part time (down to 30) hours at my job by June. I like having goals and actively working toward something and I was expecting that it COULD work. However, the attorney I work with, Christine, has resigned and will be leaving now in 2 weeks. I’m sad on quite a few levels because I really, really like working with her. She’s smart, she’s approachable, she takes the time to answer my questions and has always been very understanding and supportive. But…she found an opportunity she couldn’t pass up! So while I’m sad for me and my increased workload, I am also happy for her and want her to kill it. I also want to kill it on my end and rise to the occasion, but not to the detriment of my own happiness.
I haven’t been very happy this week. I’ve been tired because apparently now, instead of stress affecting the way I eat, it’s affecting the way I sleep. I’ve been waking up before my wife’s alarm goes off at 4:30 and I’m just kinda awake for the day, making it feel like 2 days in one.
But it’s the weekend and I have today all to myself. I am in my craft room about to get serious about some projects and let my mind wander.
I’m thinking of taking a chance and applying to the Jay Street Marketplace for the summer months. It’ll be a minimum of 5 Sundays through the season and it may be a fabulous opportunity for me to get more of my items out there for sale. It will require me to focus a bit more in my free time, but I really love it. I don’t want to lose track of the things I am working toward just because my full time job has gotten busier.
I’ve been plugging along slowly with new items, my latest being:
I’m getting better at using my glass cutter and I was able to get VERY nice lines out of this wine bottle to make this candle. Wine bottles are the hardest because they are so very thick ~ check out the thickness in this close-up:
This was one of my best cuts yet ~ nice and even.
I don’t want to lose sight of my own personal goals just because work is on my mind a lot more lately. I’ve done that many times in my life – lost focus of what I want due to distractions in relationships, jobs, conflicting goals…sometimes I wonder where I’d be in life right now if I hadn’t made much of my decisions based on the needs of other people. Would I be farther ahead in life? Would I have a higher education? Where would I be living? Who would I be today?
I do think that there’s a grand plan that I’m not in control of, so I don’t tend to focus a lot on the “what-ifs”, but sometimes I do wonder what my life would be like if I had stuck to my guns about more things instead of allowing myself to be swayed.